How Fatherhood Made Me Grow Up

Estimated time to read 3 minutes

How Fatherhood Made Me Grow Up - YouTube

How Fatherhood Made Me Grow Up
Serenity Kids Baby Food
1.5K subscribers

I consider myself a pretty mature, independent man. But it wasn’t until I became a father that I realized how much I relied on my wife.

When Della was born, all of Serenity’s attention rightfully went to the baby, and I discovered how much emotional and practical support I had grown dependent on.

It’s hard to admit, but on an unconscious level I still want someone to take care of me. Now suddenly my wife has an actual child to raise, and any parental-like support I used to receive went to Della. I had to step up to not only parent my new child, but also to parent my inner child.

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I faced the sudden withdrawal of my wife’s undivided attention. I couldn’t complain because I was so happy to be a father, and Serenity clearly had it WAY harder than me. But there were challenges I faced that pushed (and expanded) my limits.

It was easy to become self-sacrificing as I saw how challenging the physical recovery was for Serenity, how needy Della was, and how much work there was to do. All my self-care practices dwindled until I faced a serious burn out. I became restless, angry, irritable, and pessimistic. I had lost not only my wife’s support, but also my personal inner-support, which sent me into a downward spiral.

But from severe struggle comes immense growth, and that’s what I found about three months in. As I hit rock bottom, I learned new ways to care for myself. I revamped my workouts, resumed meditation, prioritized time with friends, and signed us up for a parent support group.

I had to believe I deserved them enough to do the planning and negotiating. This was me learning to parent my inner-child, while also meeting the needs of my actual child.

I am proud to be modeling behaviors of a loving, independent adult for Della and showing her what a healthy relationship between two equal partners can look like. She gets to witness us both prioritizing our self care, having independent lives outside the house, and openly negotiating a fair division of responsibility.

I had no idea how much growth I would experience becoming a father. I am learning how to be kinder to myself, more supportive of my partner, and more powerful in my life. It is truly the most life-expanding thing I have ever done, and I am grateful for that every day.